CLICK HERE FOR FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES, LINK BUTTONS AND MORE! »

Saturday, May 21, 2011

"THE POWER OF 1 WORD!!!"

THAT "WORD" THAT NO ONE WANTS TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH WAS SPOKEN TO ME TODAY! MY NAME WAS ATTACHED TO THAT DREADFUL "WORD!!!"  WHEN THIS "WORD" WAS ANNOUNCED IN MY RIGHT EAR, THROUGH MY PINK, SPRINT, CELL-PHONE, WITH MY NAME IN REFERENCE 
INSTANTLY, YET IN SLOW-MOTION, WILD NEGATIVE EMOTIONS RACED THROUGH MY SOUL--- FOREIGN, POWERLESS, FEARFUL, DISBELIEF, DIRTY, SHAME, WEAK, UGLE, LESS-THAN, UNWORTHY, DIFFERENT, SHOCK, HELPLESS, CONTROLLED, NEEDY, SHY, DETACHED, VICTIM, VULNERABLE, VIOLATED, SADNESS, FRUSTRATION, AFRAID, PITIFUL, NAIVE, LOST, LONELY, CONFUSED, FROOZEN, BROKEN,TIMID, DISEASED, ODD, LIMITED ,GUILTY, UNPLUGED ETC., ETC., ETC, . . . ALL THE WHILE COMPLETELY SURROUNDED IN CONSTANT LOVE OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS. . .HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? MY MIND RACING, I FIND IT HARD TO STAY FOCUSED. FEELING LIKE I SHOULD THINK, THINK, THINK!!! YET, SOMEHOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK! IM AFRAID TOOOOO THINK!  I DON'T KNOW WHAT OR HOW I SHOULD FEEL!!! I FEEL AS THOU I'M VIEWING MYSELF AS THE 3RD PERSON! AS THOU THIS ISN'T ME, THIS COULD NEVER HAPPEN TO ME! THIS DREADFUL WORD ATTACKS OTHERS; NOT ME!  I ASK MYSELF WILL I EVER FEEL NORMAL AGAIN? WILL I EVER FEEL LIKE ME AGAIN? WILL I EVER FEEL WHOLE AGAIN?  WILL I EVER BE ABLE TO SMILE A REAL 
S M I L E AGAIN? WILL I EVER FEEL PEACE IN MY HEART AGAIN? HOW MANY TOMORROWS DO I HAVE LEFT? WHATS MOST IMPORTANT TODAY? WHAT SHOULD I EXPRESS? WHAT SHOULD I FEEL? WHAT DO I NEED TO GET DONE? THEEEEEEEE POWER OF THAT DREADFUL "WORD"!!! THE POWER OF 1 WORD!!! WHO KNEW 1 WORD COULD CHANGE A PERSON'S WORLD IN A SPLIT SECOND!!! T H A T   D R E A D F U L   W O R D   S P E L L E D ------------  "C   A   N   C   E   R" HAS TURNED MY LIFE INTO A WORLD OF COMPLETE "U N K N O W N !" WHO KNEW THAT TODAY WOULD CHANGE MY WHOLE WORLD? I NEVER SAW IT COMING!!! HOW DO I PICK UP THE PIECES OF MY BROKEN SELF? WHERE WILL I ARRIVE AT ON THIS FOREIGN JOURNEY? W O W!, THE POWER OF 1 DREADFUL WORD!!! LOST, LONELY & UTTERLY B R O K E N . . .